For many years I was just a pharmacist. I operated a small town drug store, went to work every morning and didn't know the difference. Then I began to read in the trade journals that there were hospital pharmacists. Later I discovered there were military pharmacists, research pharmacists,
nuclear pharmacists, educator pharmacists, consultant pharmacists, and a variety of others. I then learned that I was a retail pharmacist. After thirty-five years as a retail pharmacist I semi-retired to become a relief pharmacist. I worked at a hospital-nursing home complex and I became an institutional pharmacist. Now if you retail pharmacists think you have to work hard, you don't know what work is until you have been one of us institutional pharmacists. An institutional pharmacists work is never done. And I thought Lincoln freed the slaves! Let me tell you what happened to an institutional pharmacist friend of mine. He was a single fellow, lived alone on the third floor of a high rise apartment complex in a large city. He came home one night, completely exhausted, as all institutional pharmacists are at the end of a day. He stepped off the elevator at the third floor, picked up his newspaper and headed for his favorite spot, his easy chair on his sun deck overlooking the city. He slid into his chair and began to open his newspaper when he caught a glimpse of something falling and he reached out and caught it. He looked in his hand and it was a glass eye. He looked about and there was only one place it could have come from, the sun deck directly above his. He arose from his chair, went out the front door and took the elevator to the apartment directly above his. He rang the bell and a very beautiful young lady answered the door. It was obvious that she was missing one eye. Holding out his hand, he inquired, "Is this yours?" "My glass eye!" she responded. "I have been looking all over for it. Where did you find it?" He explained the circumstances of how he found it and told her that he was happy to be able to return it to her. "Oh!" she said with a smile, "I just can't thank you enough. Can I invite you in for a drink?" she inquired. Well, now, it's kind of a generally known fact that we institutional pharmacists don't mind a little bump now and then so he responded, "Well, yes, I wouldn't mind at all. Yes, I'll have a little drink." She fixed him a drink, put on some soft music, they had a second drink and then a third. Then she said, "You know, I was just fixing dinner and I have prepared enough for two, would you care to stay for dinner?" This institutional pharmacist had detected the aroma of a fine dinner being prepared so he quickly accepted. "Why yes," he replied, "I'd be delighted to stay for dinner." So she served him an elegant candle light dinner with soft music and a couple more drinks. Finally, the institutional pharmacist looked at his watch and said, "It's getting quite late and I have another very difficult day coming up tomorrow. I must get some rest, I must return to my apartment." The young lady looked at her watch and replied, "Yes, it is getting late. Would you like to spend the night here?" The institutional pharmacist looked at her with surprise and said, "Let me ask you a question. Every guy that you meet, do you invite them in for a few drinks. Do you fix them a marvelous candle light dinner with soft music, do you invite them to spend the night?" "Oh no!" she replied. "Not everyone. Just the ones that catch my eye!"